Esha in Bal Ashram

A few hours into my birthday I receive a voice message from Laasya asking if I'd want to FaceTime the boys because they wanted to wish me for my birthday. Obviously I would never miss a chance to see their faces, let alone on my birthday, so we FaceTimed.  I spoke with them until their phone died. They'd throw the phone around and shriek, "Happy Birthday Didi!" Some would sing 'Kya Baat Ay' for me; some would chat with Amma and Nanna; some would use their puppy dog faces to ask me when I was coming back again; some would ask me to cut a cake on camera.  The most heartwarming part, though, was when 'V' virtually took me to the conference hall and connected the phone to the TV so that my entire face was displayed on the TV. That's when I saw at least 30 kids sitting on the floor waving intensely at the camera and screaming, "Happy Birthday Esha Didi!!!"  There was a humongous part of me that immediately thought What did I do to deserve this

A never-ending list of all the soul-filling moments I shared with the boys of Bal Ashram I had a strand of hair on my face while talking to a group of boys and then one of them gently brushed the piece of hair away from my face as I continued to speak. He was so gentle and nonchalant about it 🥺 Two boys wanted to talk to me alone about everything life-related. We sat for literally an hour and a half chatting about their crushes, feelings of loneliness, their past, their families, etc. It was a soul-filling moment because they trusted me enough to share their stories with me.  There are two biological brothers who stay at the Ashram together. One is probably 17 or 18 years old and the other is maybe 13 or 14. The younger one, "D", I met and bonded with back in January. The older one, "A", I never spoke to in January because he was always too shy or didn't want to approach me. This time, though, "A" felt comfortable enough to talk to me and we actually

  coffee date #44 with laasya mangalampalli counselor at Bal Ashram , owner of the most precious smile, my-Telugu-speaking-bestie-in-Rajasthan, voice notes lover, a Trauma-Informed Therapist, singer!, ukulele player, Hyderabad-born, Bombay-raised, Rajasthan-based me: chai | laasya: chai location: bal ashram, viratnagar, rajasthan Meet my Telugu-speaking bestie based in Rajasthan, India!!! This friendship was truly a little gig curated by the Universe. Laasya and I met at Bal Ashram . My first time visiting Bal Ashram was in January 2023. Two days after I had arrived, Laasya joined as a new on-site counselor for the boys. I remember seeing her from a distance for the first time. She was hovered around by a bunch of children who were eager to talk to the newly arrived Didi [older sister]. She was so gentle and had that radiant, wide smile across her face the whole time. Approximately 3 seconds later, the boys started screaming "Esha Didi! Esha Didi!" as

Currently sitting in my room, with my hair all frizzed up and my muddy sneakers dripping onto the rug beneath me from the rain. I just finished saying my goodbye’s. They gave me another painting of the goddess Parvati because that's what my name in Hindi means. I sat with them one final time during dinner and 3 of the younger boys had tears flowing down their cheeks. 🥺 I thought I had built intimate relationships with the boys when I was here in January, but I've built even deeper relationships with some of the boys I knew from before, but also with some new boys as well. That's why it made this 'ta ta' even harder 😭 Now that it’s my last day, I can’t help but laugh at those moments. I smile at the moments where ‘L’ would run up to me and squeeze the living daylights out of me and scream “HUG” after I taught him what that word means; the attachment that ‘V’ and ‘K’ had with me and how they’d never leave my side if they saw me in their vicinity; ‘K’s face always gl

During one of our jokey, childish fights I turned to 'V' and said "Is this how you treat a 'mehmaan' [guest]?" He replied, "People who visit once are mehmaans. Those who come back are our family members."  Highkey melted my heart when he said that. I yearn for the feeling of belongingness because it was never a stable feeling for me; it was something that I had to work for. Thus, once again, the Bal Ashram boys showed me that me being me is all they needed to accept me into their homes and into their lives.  ^^^A violent picture of me attempting to beat 'V' at arm wrestling. Plot twist: he won. 

After listening to Laasya and Morgan speak, I learned something new.  Children, similar to the boys at the Bal Ashram, want to know that they have some sort of control and ownership over their lives. Yes, children are dependent on the adult figures in their lives when learning behaviors, societal standards, the good, and the bad. However, they also yearn for some sort of independence, especially as they enter adolescence.  The Bal Ashram boys LOVE photography and anything to do with learning more about technology.  In January, I was extremely cautious of giving my phone to the kids because I, being a control freak, didn't know what they'd open, delete, or see. I also didn't want any of them posting any of their own pictures anyone through my phone because their identities must be protected until they reach a certain age due to certain rules and regulations. I've also seen three of the older boys completely wiping out a faculty member's phone data when I was there an